Exploring the Hidden Meanings of Enjoyment
When we look at the definition of "enjoy," we find it means to receive pleasure or satisfaction from something, to have the use or benefit of something, or to have a pleasurable or satisfactory time. However, words often have hidden meanings. To fully understand "enjoy," we need to break it down into its components: "en" and "joy."
The Prefix "En"
The prefix "en" in English originated in Latin and was introduced in French. According to Dictionary.com, it has evolved to convey various meanings, including "to cause (a person or thing) to be in" the place, condition, or state named by the stem; "to confine in or place on"; "to restrict"; and "on all sides, completely “【https://www.dictionary.com/browse/en】.
The Word "Joy"
The word "joy" has a rich history. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, starting in the 1200s, it meant a "feeling of pleasure and delight;" by the 1300s, it also meant a "source of pleasure or happiness." The Old French word "joie" (pleasure, delight, erotic pleasure, bliss, joyfulness) from the 11th century, and the Latin "gaudia" (expressions of pleasure; sensual delight), which is the plural of "gaudium" (joy, inward joy, gladness, delight; source of pleasure or delight), reflect this. The root "gaudere" means to rejoice, linking joy to inward joy, gladness, and delight【https://www.etymonline.com/word/joy】.
When we combine these two parts, "en" and "joy," the word "enjoy" at face value means to receive or feel pleasure and happiness. However, considering the meaning of "en" as confining or restricting, "enjoy" could also imply confining or restricting joy. This perspective aligns with the concept of shadow work, where hidden motivators often bring us joy in unexpected ways.
Shadow Work and Hidden Joy
Shadow work involves exploring what lies beneath the surface of our conscious mind. We often have hidden motivators that bring us joy in ways that might not seem joyful at first glance. For instance, someone who often adopts a victim mentality may derive pleasure from the attention and pity they receive, even if it’s dysfunctional to their conscious desires. This attention fulfills a need for validation, highlighting how joy can manifest in shadowy ways. We’ve essentially switched pleasure into pain and still call it pleasure.
Addiction: A Confusion of Pleasure and Pain
Addiction can be seen as a confusion between pleasure and pain. What starts as a pleasurable experience can become painful over time, yet the individual continues seeking the original pleasure, ignoring the pain. This cycle illustrates how we can become addicted to the pain that accompanies our pursuit of joy. We all want to experience pleasure, and we all go about it in different ways. When you begin to understand your core desires and blocks, you begin to see the story of your own personal addition to pain disguised as pleasure.
Pursuit of Happiness and Following Your Passion
The goal is to find genuine joy and pleasure in life, not the shadow version. We can uncover hidden joy through shadow work and transform our lives. As a coach, I help individuals reveal this hidden joy, leading to a life filled with genuine pleasure and satisfaction. One aspect that needs to be pointed out is what living 100% in my integrated joy really means.
In spiritual communities, you often hear phrases such as “do what makes you happy” or “pleasure is your birthright.” Another famous quote by Joseph Campbell is, "Follow your bliss, and the money will come.” In his book Near Enemies of the Truth, Christopher D. Wallis, Ph.D., discusses the near enemy of following your bliss. He explains, "To truly follow your bliss means that you would willingly pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any truth, and discard any falsehood to realize and abide in your true nature and align everything in your life to it." This helps frame what joy may actually look like.
Joy isn’t exclusively the hedonistic short-term pleasure that you indulge in to the point where you’ve neglected all your responsibilities to the point of death. Joy is taking pleasure in doing something hard because you know the reward will be worth it. In this case, knowing is related to consciously choosing pain and sacrifice because you understand it will lead to even greater joy. It’s an integrated knowing where all of you is a “YES” to the experience. Suffering to suffer is shadow. We can bring light to that darkness by asking ourselves some questions:
What is the benefit of doing something I’m not enjoying right now?
What lesson am I trying to learn? What goal am I aiming to achieve that makes the unenjoyable enjoyable?”
Are all parts of me on board with this? (5 Domains, Internal Family Systems, Chakras, etc.)
If I can’t find one long-term reason for it that ALL parts are on board with, then it’s time to stop it. If I can’t stop it, then it’s an addiction. An addiction means I have shadow work to do. What is blocking me from giving this thing up that’s not good for me?
Conclusion
Now is the time to claim your right to a joyful life. If joy feels elusive, consider working with me as your coach. We can explore and address the shadow aspects holding you back, helping you rediscover true pleasure and satisfaction. Despite the challenges, following your passion can lead you to a deeper and more authentic joy, where every part of you says "YES" to life.
